Thursday March 28th, 2024
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Saudis Banned From Mars

A new fatwa out of Saudi Arabia has decreed that it is haram for any human to go to Mars. We ponder what the next fantastical fatwas might be on their way...

Staff Writer

Space the final frontier... but only for some. A new fatwa has been decreed in Saudi Arabia banning any Saudi citizen from travelling to Mars, adding to the long list of ridiculous things Saudi Arabians can't do. Saudi religious scholar Shaikh Ali Al Hekmi told Al Hayat newspaper that travelling to the red planet is off limits and haram. The fatwa came about after six of the 477 Saudi citizens who applied for the Mars One Project, a one way trip to the red planet where they hope to create the first human settlement, were accepted.

Saudis have been in an uproar about the decision. "It's not like I was going anytime soon but, now, I know I'll never be able to go to Mars!" exclaimed one Saudi citizen, probably.

For what possible reason would this fatwa be decreed? Are they scared women will be allowed to drive on Mars? That they won't know which direction to pray to? What is the next fantastical fatwas they might decree? We wonder:

It is haram to eat fries with ice cream.

It is haram to travel into the past or future.

It is haram for a man to wear graphic print t-shirts.

It is haram for any human to metamorphosise into a dragon.

It is haram to ride a polar bear... on Mars.