5 Types of CairoScene Employees

We're a quirky bunch, from all over the world, much like a Benetton ad (remember when Benetton was cool?) If you've ever wondered who the weird and wonderful people are that create the weird and wonderful articles published every day, this will shine a light on the inner workings of our website.

The Self-Proclaimed Pulitzer Winner

S/he is too damn serious. Everything is a feature, their past job was at Al Ahram or some other government-run establishment and their novel will be out soon; think of the foreign equivalent to Ibrahim Eissa. This person knows every article ever written at CairoScene and other competing news sites off the top of their head, and they can be condescending; they will give our editor the stink eye when they’re asked to write a top 5 list of whatever. 

The Foreign Egyptian

This poor sap's parents had to relocate half the way across the world to give them an education that’s worth thousands and thousands, and get them a foreign passport, only to come home and work at an office where reading Arabic is a fundamental part of everyday professional life... Where they then discover that they can’t. Much to their surprise, it’s like a double slap in the face when s/he has to go to The Token White Girl/Boy for their Arabic language needs. During their youth, they’ve done everything in their power to distance themselves from their Egyptian upbringing and as such, his or her accent sounds as forced as their need to constantly prove their independence.

The Token White Girl/Boy

Much like Cairo the city, this person has an advantage over any native Egyptian at CairoScene… Maybe it’s the complexion or the hair, or the fact that they are truly better at the job; it’s never really clear. They are more Egyptian than anyone else, always stinking up our office eating koshari, conversing about Koshari or sporting a t-shirt with koshari. They can be seen sporting a mineral drinking water bottle, because we all know what happens to a foreigner if they drink our tap water.

The Hipster

They’re still always late and hung-over, quoting absurd shit. They almost always dress in black and jump at any chance to cover an event where they're given free drinks. This specimen prides him/herself on his H&M inspired fashion status and their ideas in brainstorms all circulate around pretty much the same thing. In their spare time, they get inked, pick up stray-cats and run their own Tumblr account where they post music no one else knows and isn't very good. We torment these creatures by making them write about cupcakes.

The Mowafi

Every empire needs it's king or queen, and it's no different here at CairoScene. There’s four of them; three males and one female. Or three females and one male, we’re not sure as this family is bending reality all the time. We’re confused as fuck, we’re not sure who is who, but reminiscent of Mubarak days, we usually have to seek the glorified portrait photos hanging up behind our desks to know if a Mowafi is in the room, so we can stop playing Candy Crush. Otherwise you just have to keep your ears open and try to pinpoint the most absurd accent in the room.