Dating Women Vs. Egyptian Women

The interwebz has been a-buzz recently with the 'Dating Boy versus Dating Man' and 'Girl versus a Woman' thing but, alas, the rules don't exactly apply when dealing with the fickleness of the Egyptian women (For those who think we're being chauvinistic, just wait for our Man versus Egyptian Man version! No one wins, Egyptians are just terrible at relationships).

1. A woman understands that a man needs his personal space and time to do his own thing, to go out with his friends alone and trust him when they're out, knowing that for a relationship to flourish, they need to still keep a part of themselves to themselves. An Egyptian woman needs to know where you are, who you're with and when you will see them next, at all times. If they can't find the man, they will call his mother.

2. A woman is independent of her man and loves him, regardless of financial disposition, for the person that he is but still respects herself and holds herself up to a certain standard. An Egyptian woman will not go home in your ma3afin Lancer, she cannot possibly take a taxi to go anywhere, expects you to pick her up regardless of distance and a handmade gift doesn't count as a gift, ya bakheel. Feen el Tiffany?

3. A woman is comfortable in her own skin and will happily be around you in sweats, tied up hair, no make up at all and still feel just as sexy. An Egyptian woman must be wearing subcutaneous, tight leggings, a tube top and heels at all time or you are not allowed to see her, whether it is in a bar, a club, the cinema or Snapchat.

4. A woman understands that a young man's career comes first and foremost, so when he doesn't have time to see her it does not mean he doesn't love her anymore. An Egyptian woman will accuse you of seeing someone else when he's just had an all-nighter in front of his computer, dump him, and then be consoled by his best-friend.

5. A woman allows a man to keep the same friendships he had with other women, knowing that he had a life before they met and his relationships with them are purely platonic. And Egyptian woman will get pissy if you so hug another woman to say hello and if you are messaging another woman, she is a sharmoota and you are a khawal.

6. On the flipside of that, a woman will keep her own relationships with men she knows, even if she's dating someone. An Egyptian woman will be scared to say hi with any warmth, out of fear of her man getting angry at her.

7. A woman will know exactly what she wants to do in life and how she'll get there; analyse her strengths and weaknesses and find something that will give her financial independence whilst doing what she loves. An Egyptian woman will follow the trend of all the other girls in her circle and be a part-time designer of knick-knacks untll her man or her daddy stops giving her money.

8. A woman is honest and open with her family about the relationships she has and the lifestyle she leads. An Egyptian woman will ask you to SSSHHHHHHHHH whenever she picks up the phone to mama or is out at a club when she said she was at a café.

9. A woman knows that life goes on after a relationship and there are plenty of fish in the sea who are probably more deserving. An Egyptian woman will avoid going into work because of 'personal issues' and then proceed to stalk her ex on Facebook, at venues and send countless love letters until she convinces his mother who totally loves her, for him to take her back.

10. A woman lives in the moment without getting hung up on the future of her relationship, enjoying and appreciating the time spent with another man, witha 'who knows what could happen?' attitude. An Egyptian woman wants a ring on it. ASAP. And she wants you to know she wants a ring on it or you're a waste of time.