Heat up about a joints worth of hash and mix it in with the dog food, your dog is going to get high as fuck and then feel quite sick. The smell of hash will then repel him from then on. It's like the opposite of Pavlov's Dog.

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Dear Mr Mosh-Killa,

For Goodness' sake, I got the Hippy Hippy Shakes, I got the Shakes, I got the Hippy Hippy Shakes

Ooh, I can't sit still, with the Hippy Hippy Shakes, I get my fill, with the Hippy Hippy Shakes, yeah, it's in the bag

Ooh, the Hippy Hippy Shake...

Now where can I find some Ketamine?

Lara

You've already had too much.

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Mr Mosh-Killa,

It's 24 degrees today and the weekend is set to top 30 degrees. Where can I find a lifesized dolls house?

I assume this is so you can sell lemonade to dehydrated children? Stop being a paedophile.

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M-K,

What makes a Happy Meal happy?

Ihab

What makes a Happy Meal happy is the McDonald's board members smiling and laughing manically from their multi-billion pound underground lairs, as their Zionist plan to poison a generation of youth at a profit comes into fruition. Aside from that, is the toy factory owner happily looking over thousands of Chinese kids as they put together plastic contraptions with a play-with span of no more than ten minutes which promise certain uses such as wind up movement, flicking or twisting, but all end up being obscure Disney or Pixar princesses that don't quite look like the character and do nothing but stare at you from under the coffee table for weeks on end until someone decides to give it to the dog. If the dog is high, he'll love it and it will make him happy. The production companies are delighted with this promotional deal too. And that is why it is called a Happy Meal.

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To Mr Mosh-Killa,

Is it haram to have haram dreams?

Lucy

If you were made in God's image and if you can't control your dreams, and they're the most significant reflection of your inner most workings and God created you then surely if you dream about eating bacon of Victoria’s Secret models' boobies, that is also a reflection of what God is dreaming about, so no, your dreams are the closest thing to heaven you're probably going to get.

You can send all your dramas and dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on info@cairoscene.com or Tweet him at @MrMoshKilla