Pantene Hair Retreat

Contrary to popular belief (and by popular belief we mean friends jealous of the occasional freebies we get), we do work incredibly hard here at CairoScene. Having said that, the job does come with some awesome perks that seem to imply we don’t work as hard as we actually do, like the days when we get invited out just to get pampered and treated like the royalty we secretly think we are.

In hindsight, it's these very perks that get people to think we just spend our days being endlessly spoiled, getting our nails done while sipping on diamond-infused whiskey and eating mermaid tartare. That's because we are quick to share our cool moments on social media, because obviously, awesomeness must be Instagrammed, whereas no one wants to see us sitting at desks behind computers, typing away like the boring losers we really are.

Moving on, we recently got an invite from Pantene to join them at their 'Hair Retreat' day at Kriss Salon. Now, the events we have to attend as part of our job run the gamut from I-would-rather-peel-off-my-own-skin-and-use-it-to-smother-myself awful to HALLELUJAH-this-is-the-best-day-ever awesome. Pantene's day of haircare definitely fell on the latter side of the spectrum. We headed over there, not entirely sure of what the day would entail, but still happy to have some time out of the office.

The super-friendly girls at Pantene basically told us to ne3eesh 7ayatna at the salon. And while we figured it would be a quick in-and-out wash and blow dry (ahem, we may or may not have skipped a hair wash in anticipation of this hair day) they were like, "Chiiiill, enjoyyy, get your nails done. Do you want to get your hair cut? Or dyed?" THERE WERE SO MANY OPTIONS.

Being the type of human who strictly only ever sets foot in a salon pre-wedding just so I don’t shame my family by looking like a homeless person, I didn’t even know where to start. We first got scooted over to get our nails done. A blessing because they were literally chipped, broken, and looked like we'd been washing dishes in the castle kitchens for the past week. Nails complete, looking amazing we then had a little chitchat with Kriss himself, who managed to charmingly convince us to actually get our hair cut, despite our undying fear of scissor-wielding hairdressers.

We had our hair washed, and then drenched in a creamy strand-by-strand treatment. Usually we want to rip out our own hair after sitting for so long in a damn chair while a man coats literally each and every separate strand of our hair, but there were cupcakes on hand and waiters making the rounds with trays of goodies from Crave. Shrimps and halloumi-and-tomato appetizers, mini turkey wraps, and little cheesecake balls. Ahhh those little cheesecakes. Good stuff. Naturally, we stuffed our faces like we hadn’t seen food for the past year. It might be worth mentioning that the washing out of aforementioned treatment came with a full-on head massage that made us feel equal parts uncomfortable and incredibly happy.

Kriss then came over for the moment of truth – the haircut. "Trim, okay, trim? Yeah? Not cut, trim," we repeated endlessly, because usually with hairdressers it just goes in one ear, and then out the other, and before you know it half of your hair is gone. With the snipping started, we just had to wait for the outcome. "I trust you," I said, and yeah it's reminiscent of Titanic but getting your hair chopped off is pretty much the equivalent to hanging off the edge of a giant boat in girl world. It was really more of a hopeful statement than an honest one, because well, what the fuck choice do I have now that he's got my hair between scissor blades?

Apparently we were on the same page because Kriss just laughed and said, "You have no option baby!" True. But thank the lord above, it was actually a real, honest to god trim and there weren’t 80 grams of dead hair scattered on the floor. After a quick prayer thanking the hair gods (and Kriss) we then got a blow dry and our hair transformed into perfect Pantene-hair-ad waves. All we wanted to do was stroll through a generic garden and toss our hair around.

More food. More lattes as we sat idly smoking cigarettes and admiring our hair. We were officially in princess mode. WHERE'S MY GODDAMN TIARA?? Eventually we ran out of excuses to stay longer, and headed back to the office with a goody bag in hand, complete with a little Cinderella-esque hair mirror. Thank you Pantene. Aaand when are you having us back?