To Kill A SpongeyBob

If you don't know about the dark side of the world wide web - the sordid alleyways, nooks and crannies that make up the underbelly of the Internet - here's what's up: Whilst most of you look at the Internet as that colourful circle on your desktop top that you click when you want to stalk your ex, there is an infinite amount more to it. What is called 'the invisible web' is not filtered, monitored and monetised by Google and the like. Actually, we could sit here all day and try to explain to you the intricacies of the deep web and how it works... but we found something far crazier to tell you about...

Firstly, to access some of these hidden websites you need Tor Browser which is sort of like the black, black, black sheep of browsers, famous for facilitating the likes of Silk Road, an online drug network that was recently shut down. Here's all the details you need in order to download Tor Browser. 

'The Assassination Market' is real. If you don't believe it check it out here, once you download the Tor Browser. In big letters, at the top, it says: It's Real. It's Serious. A list on the homepage shows names of people submitted for assination, along with their country of origin, they're current status of life, and the amount of money in their 'pool' that those who predicted (read: planned to kill) correctly will win. The money is transferred using the infamous Bitcoin currency. People submited to this list include Barak Hussein Obama and Ben Bernanke.

You know what else is real, and serious? SpongeBob Square Pants. That vulgar methed up little yellow fucker needs to die, khalas, kefaya ba2a, he's already taken over Egypt. He's in every mall and market stand as a mascot, on pyjamas, pencils, pens, duvet covers, notebooks everywhere and in taxis, micro-buses and our nightmares! And for what? The cartoon has little to no cultural or social link to us, why do Egyptian kids' eyes go as wide as his whenever they see a SpongeBob balloon in the vicinity? He is killing your kids' brains, he is pointless and has to die.

We suggest everyone gets on this website, and submits that yellow virus' name once and for all; if the deep web can do one wholesome thing in their lifetime, it's that.