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Types of Facebook Suggested Friends Every Egyptian Gets

Some days your suggested Facebook friends make you want to quit the internet altogether. Others, they make you want to change your identity and run away.

We've all seen them and wondered what the actual F we were looking at and how on God's green Earth did these strange, strange people get on your suggested friends list on Facebook. From your MyQueen delivery guy to Engineer Fouad Abdulhalim (who's also sending strange-ass messages), we've taken it upon ourselves to list what we're now calling: FACEBOOK SUGGESTED FRIENDS ARCHETYPES. 

Your Best Friend's Ex From High School

How did he get there? Is he stalking you? Did you stalk him? Also what's the statue of limitations on hooking up with your BFF's ex, cause boy's looking kind of FINE right now.

Someone You Made Out with Way Back in 2012

via GIPHY

Thank you, Facebook. Every now and again you act as this gentle reminder for us to perhaps drink just a tiny bit less. Or periodically change our phone numbers to continue making the same mistakes.

That Weird Uncle With a Picture of a Dove and Prayer Beads

via GIPHY

Can he see me? DELETE ACCOUNT NOW. Abort now!

The Shawerma Guy from Next Doorvia GIPHY

We curse the day Facebook and WhatsApp linked up. Now, our shawerma comes with a side order of wtf.

TöÖtÄ Bäẞy GUrl

We all know this person has a different account. Possibly even several. We're thinking one for each affair she's having. Now the trouble is why is my boss a common friend?

The Random Russian-Looking "Model"

via GIPHY

We're left thinking like "I'd hit that, ADD, ADD, ADD", but it's probably some dude in Nigeria. We know better, but we add "her" anyway.

Cousins, Mum's Friends, and Relatives in Generalvia GIPHY

Our account can definitely do without some third-degree relative trying to school us on the religiosity, or lack of there of, of our posts and the pages we follow. Thanks, but no thanks.

Abdo El Raye'e
Common friends include the accountant from work and the profile picture most likely has a floral background and you know it's a sha'at, hooking up account. Does your wife know of your account, buddy?

The Sticker on the Back of the Bus Guy-rate

via GIPHY

Some third-rate words of wisdom make up this account's name and you know it's trouble. Usually wielding some sort of weapon in the profile picture and nothing about this account explains why we're in the same cyber-sphere.

The Person You See, Not Meet, Once at a Party

This is where the internet gets terrifying. We were in the same place for literally one party. We're talking about an hour. Tops. Why, Facebook? Why are you so creepy?

Gym Bunnies

Their profile pics are always of them topless and showing their six-packs in all their glory, and all their other pictures are from CairoZoom.


Todays Events
Mohasseb @ Cairo Jazz Club
Clubs
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 10:00pm - 3:00am
Venue: Cairo Jazz Club
Brunch @ Solana
Dining
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 1:00pm - 5:00pm
Venue: Conrad Cairo
Christmas Cairo Symphony Orchestra
Culture
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 8:00pm - 11:00pm
Venue: Cairo Opera House
Breathe Out @ Dijon Bistro
Bars
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 9:00pm - 3:00am
Venue: Dijon Bistro
Basheer @ Underground Cairo
Clubs
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 10:00pm - 1:00am
Venue: Underground Cairo
Sweat The HIV Stigma
Competition
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 9:00am - 2:00pm
Venue: Platinum Club
Fundamentals Of Acting @ Bardo Clubhouse
Workshop
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 4:00pm - 8:00pm
Venue: Bardo Clubhouse
The Art of Wedding Portraiture @ AUC
Exhibitions
Date: 12/15/2017
Time: 10:00am - 5:00pm
Venue: American University In Cairo