Previous Post
Mawaweel: Cultural Hub
Next Post
Ram-AD-an

Visions & Sexual Jihad

The Muslim Brotherhood protests have been visited by prophets and urges for procreation. Eihab Boraie discusses the hysteria.

Maybe it's the fact that we are in Ramadan, or maybe it's the fact that no one is listening to the protestors in Raba'a al-Adaweya square, but it seems that Morsi supporters are starting to see things. What kind of things, you ask? Well, the Angel Gabriel and the Prophet Mohamed of course, you silly kafir.

Sheikh Ahmad Abdel Hadi, a Muslim Brotherhood preacher, told protestors a variety of outlandish visions that have been seen and must be 'true':

“Some good men in Madina Al-Munawara (in Saudi Arabia) told me of a vision in which Gabriel entered Raba'a al-Adawiya’s mosque to keep people praying, stationed in their positions.”

And he doesn't stop there. This Sheikh continues on to claim that there was another vision in which a gathering was attended by the Prophet Mohamed, Morsi, and others. At the time of prayer the people asked the Prophet to head the prayer, but he refuses and asked Morsi to lead instead. In other words, plain blasphemy.

At this point, I thought to myself that these poor Morsi supporters are probably severely dehydrated, and if they truly believe in these visions, that they must be some manifestation of the final stages of death and that DMT, a chemical suspected for visions in near death experiences, is flooding their brains. Luckily for us, the visions just keep on coming:

“After a while, the camels, youths and children got very thirsty. As they pleaded to God for help, the earth split and a stream appeared. The people drank and then they heard a voice saying: ‘Take care of President Mohamed Morsi’s camels.’”

This is by far my favourite and not because of its beautiful imagery, but because it supports my dehydration theory. It also make me believe that we did the right thing in taking the Muslim Brotherhood out of power, because their policies are derived by visions and not reality.

It saddens me that preachers can pervert a religion in such a manner and claim moral authority, but then again, this isn't the worst perversion we've heard this week. Supposedly, a fatwa was declared for a 'sexual jihad'. This obviously not true but supposedly began after a female Brotherhood supporter asked if sex was allowed in Raba'a Al-Adawiya square in hopes of the act of making love giving strength to Morsi supporters protesting. This all took place on Facebook and generated over a thousand comments. Among the comments were many anti-Morsi protestors claiming they may switch sides if this is true. The supposed religious answer that was given was “Not now. Let us wait first for what will happen, and may God strengthen the Mujahedeen.”

I am assuming that this question is being mulled by many Muslim Brotherhood preachers as we speak. I think all they are waiting for is another vision from Gabriel or a Prophet or maybe even some camels telling them to go ahead and consumate their protests.

 


Todays Events
Nadah El Shazly (DJ Set) / INSIN / TAG @ Cjc
Bars
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 10:30pm - 3:00am
Venue: Cairo Jazz Club
Karaoke Night @ Cjc 610
Bars
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 10:30pm - 3:00am
Venue: Cairo Jazz Club 610
WINTER WONDERLAND @ ZED PARK
Variety
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 4:00pm - 11:00pm
Venue: Zed Towers
The Two Popes @ Yellow Umbrella
Film
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 7:30pm - 10:00pm
Venue: Yellow Umbrella
Game Night @ The Tap West
Bars
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 10:00pm - 3:00am
Venue: The Tap West
Divas Night Ft.Rahma Saxophone @ Stage One
Bars
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 10:00pm - 3:00am
Venue: Conrad Cairo
Intro To Improv @ Luke Lehner Studios
Workshop
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 6:30pm - 10:00pm
Venue: Luke Lehner Studios
Game Night @ The Tap Maadi
Bars
Date: 2/18/2020
Time: 10:00pm - 3:00am
Venue: The Tap Maadi