What’s the point of living when Lambada costs 1.5 EGP?!
So we get on the metro this morning, casual fashkh, and then discover a few hours later that metro prices are going up. Gas prices are surging, the pound is floating, and we can’t even get akyas koshary beh geneih anymore. Guys, the struggle is real. We tried to cope – we told jokes, we made memes, we took over the Internet – but then the cost of our beloved childhood Lambada suddenly became geneih weh nos. What is the point of life?!
When times get tough, the tough get laughing. Egyptians have this strange coping mechanism where we recognise our misery, pause, embrace it, then go full-on hals mode. Sometimes it’s absolute avwara, but how else would you cope with the chaos that is Egypt? Some have even taken it to the point of calling for a mass suicide on November 11th via a Facebook event that has just under 50,000 people expressing interest. Relatively speaking, though, that’s still less than one percent of the population.
According to the event page, mass suicide starts at 8 AM, sharp! But, this is Egypt, so there’s a grace period of two days for those who couldn’t make up their minds or who decided to wash their face for four hours, or for those who managed to get stuck in traffic. Suicide is mandatory, but – fear not! – it’s up to you to decide how you’d like to die. People will be on the ground to support those who may be struggling.
Should you hesitate and not know whether or not you have ample reason to commit suicide, the page claims, just remember all the recent economic atrocities – if that doesn’t work, just remember that you live in Egypt.
All jokes aside, suicide is a serious issue that does affect countless Egyptians under a multitude of circumstances. Popular filmmaker Amr Salama has posted on the event regarding the seriousness of suicide, citing a personal experience with a loved on.
Given the highly sarcastic nature of the event itself, we think the founders meant it entirely in jest, so don't go jumping off a bridge or anything. Please. We'll buy you a Lambada!