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Ana A3ed 3alkanaba.com

Bourgeoning digital company Media & More have just launched a new website designed to encourage us all to be couch potatoes. And we love them for it...

Many years ago, during the dark ages before the days of the interweb, before multimedia platforms; before touch screen interfaces, Apps, DSL, Wifi, VGA, HDMI,  fucking  asymmetric digital subscriber lines delivering billions of terabites of information with  high-speed data communication systems to the humans of world; before BBM and Whats APP, when eye contact with a person was actually necessary; before social networks; before Facebook when liking something was still an emotion; before Twitter when people articulated how they felt through mouth words instead of hashtags; in a primitive time when clouds were  still the fluffy things in the sky; in a strange  archaic era – there were  ‘TV Guides.’

THE TV GUIDE: An odd and obscure pamphlet usually delivered in the post made of paper. It would contain printed words with information about up coming schedules and shows which were to appear on the moving picture box in the living room. I know it sounds far-fetched but you also had to turn the pages of this PHYSICAL TV guide with your hands. Quite frankly I have a headache just thinking about that arduous process. What next? Reading words from a book?

Thank God those dingy days have passed and now thanks to modern technology we don’t have to do anything or see anyone! Fantastic! This is aided even more by the brilliant new website 3alkanaba.com. The name alone gives me this warm feeling inside. I love sofas. They are a personification of laziness.

3alkanaba.com is the first Egyptian on-line TV guide catering to Egypt and the MENA region.

I have been told by my editor that I am no longer allowed to rant self-indulgenntly about our subject-matter and must include credible quotes from the relevant people. So here’s what Rania Zahra, Digital Media Director at Media & More – the developers of the new website – had to say to me about this innovative new website, “Among the main features of 3alkanaba.com is that you can see all listings, choose what you want to see, get the latest news on all you favourite celebs and use the channels live streaming to watch episodes you have missed.”

Genius! My movement has decreased even further now.  With ashtray, cigarettes, Xanax, water, Prozac, blanket, mobile, TV remote and laptop all within reaching distance, I don’t have to move at all. Now I can simply check out 3alkanaba.com while laying 3al kanaba and I have a complete overview of all English and Arabic channels with news and details on all shows, series and films. I can create my own personal watch list and choose a way to be reminded so I never miss a show. Thank you 3alkanaba.com! My child hood dreams have all come true in one website. Please no one talk to me anymore. I have no more reason for human interaction.

Goodbye world x

Facebook app: http://www.facebook.com/3alKanaba/app_306140066149791

Twitter: twitter.com/3alKanaba

Website: http://3alkanaba.com/