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Blackberries & Black People

Petty problems have silly solutions.

Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa,

Should I get the new Blackberry Z10 or the iPhone 5 or wait for the next iPhone or venture into Android?
Heba

Hi Heba, I'm not an expert but I think you should try face-to-face conversations. They become quite interesting when they're not in Kelvin colours or interspersed with grainy profile picture update bleeps of your friend posing in that angle which makes her look good in thumbnails size.

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Mr. M.K,
There's a lot of casual racism in my office, and it's making me uncomfortable even though I'm not black. How do I get my colleagues to stop without looking like a self-righteous jerk?
Amr

Well at least you still have a computer to e-mail us on so there can't be that many blacks in your office.

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To Mr. Mosh-Killa,
My girlfriend keeps wearing UGGs and I hate them. She won't listen to me; she says they're really comfortable. What shall I do?
Nader

Obviously, you have to end it. UGGs are a parasite on human footwear; it shouldn't even be acceptable to wear them indoors, it's embarrassing for the furniture. Even lava lamps will cringe. Get a sheikh to come over to perform an exorcism on her cupboard, then take those UGGs, douse them in benzine and set them a light. Hire a diving team to take those UGG ashes and bury them deep, deep within the Nile's bed. Even fish have better taste in footwear. Finally, cut off your exes feet. She doesn't deserve them.

You can send all your dramas and dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on info@cairoscene.com or Tweet him at @MrMoshKilla


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