Previous Post
A Good Day To Die Hard
Next Post
Don't Be Yourself

Girls and Grills

On a cloudy day like today, Mr.Mosh-Killa gives you clarity...

Mr. Mosh-Killa,
I have a crush on a CairoZoom photographer (Hint: he wears glasses, has a shaved head and his name is Mo Hany). I think if we got to know each other we'd fall madly in love but I don't know how to approach him since he's always at the coolest events and spends his time seeking out and taking pictures of the hottest girls in Cairo. How do I make him notice me?
Anonymous


Hi Anonymous,
No matter how sexy this Mo Hany is, photographers are dangerous people. From the beginning they know their mission and target. He won't have to spend much effort to know people in the place. He will sneak into your heart as if you are old friends. No wait, wait, that's foreigners, sorry. What you need to do is try to get into the next party he's working at dressed up as your favourite camera setting. For instance, sepia. Find your best brown and beige outfit and watch him drool. Good luck.

***********************

Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa
Am I fat? I'm a 6'1" male, weighing 77kgs and I wear size 31" jeans, but I can't shake the feeling that I am obese. Should I just stop eating?
H

H,
You should just stop breathing.

***********************

Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa
I've lived abroad all my life and now that I'm in Egypt I'm having real problems relating to Egyptian girls. What is wrong with them?
Anonymous

Hi there,
Apart from their big foreheads I feel Egyptian girls' main problem is their concept of relationships in general. Growing up in a society where having a boyfriend, meeting a new guy and all things related are taboo, it's possible that they get most of their ideas from MBC 2 films. This being the case, try to re-create that  feel-good romance movie of the year . Say things like "You had me at hello'," and "I'll be back," in an Austrian accent and watch her drool.
Mr. Mosh-Killa

***********************

Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa,
I have a problem. I once took a girl out to the Intercontinental Semiramis' The Grill, but the menu is so large and delicious that I couldn't even see my date's face. I then developed a insatiable obsession (and appetite) for the girl on the front of the menu. I found myself taking any girl I found on the street to dates at The Grill just so I can see her beautiful cardboard face again, what should I do? (Sponsored Question)
Ahmed 

Oooooh, you obviously haven't seen The Intercontinental Semiramis' Birdcage menu. Now that, my friend, is something to drool over. (Sponsored answer)

You can send all your dramas and dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on info@thecairoscene.online or Tweet him at @MrMoshKilla