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Miley Cyrus Claims Wrecked

A British university's latest findings explain that the Pop star would sustain significant injuries if she did indeed come in like a wrecking ball, if she even managed to gain enough momentum. Seriously.

Despite her claims to the contaray, Miley Cyrus could not actually come in "like a wrecking ball" without sustaining significant injury, scientists claim. A University of Leicester study focused on the lyrics of the singer's hit single Wrecking Ball from her album Bangerz, found that Cyrus would be unable to gather sufficient momentum to have impacted on either "love, or the walls of someone’s house," Centre of Interdisciplinary Science student David McDonagh said. The boffin concludes that Cyrus would need to be travelling at around 316mph to demolish a wall – meaning she would need to be propelled by an outside force.

He said: “Based on these findings, it is clear that a human being cannot possess the characteristics of a wrecking ball without sustaining significant injury, and other objects should be sought as an analogy. Any human behaving like a wrecking ball would likely result in serious injury.”

Meanwhile, the study also found that kids' TV character Winnie the Pooh would've suffered from a severe Vitamin B12 deficiency thanks to his exclusively honey-based diet. McDonagh added: "Memory loss and fatigue are present, where the creature frequently forgets levels of honey reserves, encouraging reliance on the reserves of other species.  In light of these symptoms, of the vitamins highlighted, characteristics observed in Winnie the Pooh appear to correlate with a B12 deficiency."

The research also spelled bad news for childrens' character Pinocchio as the number of lies he told would cause his neck to break under the weight of his nose. The study was carried out after the University of Leicester asked students to apply scientific principles to pop culture scenarios. Their work has been published in the Journal of Interdisciplinary Science Topics.

The journal aims to show the students the nuts and bolts of scientific paper writing, peer review and publishing – so while the findings may be fun, the science must be accurate.


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