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Let’s Be Honest…

Roses are red, balls are blue

Two wrongs make a right…

Mr. Mosh-Killa,
I’m dating a gynecologist. Need I say more?

Well, the pros are: Free health care. Cons: How do you draw the lines between a consultancy and cunnilingus? Plus the sex talk must be really off putting  like,”Ooh yeah, I want to lick your vestibule,” and “I miss your tight posterior labial commisure”. Avoid.


Dear Mr. M-K,
Is it weird to go to a restaurant tomorrow and order their Valentine’s special if I’m not on a date? I don’t have a significant other nor am I looking to take someone out – there’s just some great offers going on!

You’re asking the wrong person, Joe. The concept of Valentine’s Day itself is weird to me, but if you are going to celebrate what was essentially a three day rape festival in ancient Rome, I think you’re doing it the right way: take advantage of V-Days cheap consumerist byproducts before overdosing on Xanax from loneliness this Valentine’s Day!
Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa,
It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and I’ve been so busy I forgot to get my boyfriend a present. I also don’t wanna get him a typical, boring gift but am totally drawing a blank on what to give him. Any suggestions? 

Chiclets and a blowjob.

You can send all your dramas and dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on or Tweet him at @MrMoshKilla