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Boys & Their Noise VI

Saudi Weather Control

It's the stuff of conspiracy theorists' nightmares (and cartoon villains' dreams); the Kingdom is using toxic gasses to control the weather...

It's the stuff a conspiracy theorists’ fantasies are made of but it’s true; the Saudi government has landed in hot water for trying to control the weather. Yes, that's right, in a scheme worthy of a cartoon villain, Saudi Arabia is trying to play Allah and actually decide when it rains.

“But how?!” we hear you cry. The answer is simple: using popular weapon of mass destruction, Alkimtre gas. 

Now is a perfect time to put on your tinfoil hat and proceed to masturbate furiously over this piece while texting all of your friends to tell them how you “knew it all along.” At this stage it's probably important to add that...we REALLY aren't making this up.

Amnesty International and the Arab Organisation for Human Rights (AOHR) are suing Jeddah Municipality for spraying the poisonous gas in an effort to disperse clouds and lower rainfall. Amnesty and AOHR representative Dr. Talat Attar said: "Alkimtre gas is a mass destruction weapon and its usage is in clear violation of all human rights."  The claim, which is set to be reviewed in the coming days, calls for authorities to immediately shelve plans to use the gas and calls for moves to deal with the alleged damage caused by the chemical.

However Jeddah Municipality spokesperson, Sami Nawwar, denied the claims while oddly revealing a worrying amount of knowledge ion the matter of weather control. He said: "The municipality does not have plans for dissipating clouds. Such action requires plans and special equipment and any logical person would understand this.”

Presumably he made this statement from his secret underground layer followed by an evil laugh. The review is due within days but here at CairoScene we can definitely see stormy times ahead when 'they' see this