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7 Saturated High Society Jobs in Egypt

Sorry to dash your dreams, private university graduates, there's no more room for you...

According to a recent report by HSBC, by 2050 our then-130 million strong population will have a $1.2 trillion economy and rank as the largest in Africa and average salaries will have tripled. Today, youth takes up the largest demographic of our society, and most of them are connected to the internet, by 2050 we imagine all of them with be, which means the torrent of manipulative mimetic lists that tell us that we should all just 'do what we love' and forget about getting a real job to pay the rent, will branch out deeper and deeper into this young culture. Granted, we may still be talking about a very small percentage of youth, but at it's current state we can't imagine how getting into the below fields, usually with a wad of cash from baba, is going to help grow the economy. Here are the top 7 low entry 'jobs' that seem to be flooding the market whilst reducing the quality of the field...

Fashion Designer

"Bos, hangeeb shweyat graphics keda, 7aga sexy ya3ni, w hane3melo black and white wen7oto ala t-shirt abyad wenkhaly el brand sophisticated shwaya bas funky bardo."

For starters graphic t-shirts, we'll have you know, are very much 2010. We realise that it's easy to Google a few pictures and send them over for silkscreening but the fashion industry is an incredibly intricate and cut-throat one and not something you should get into just because of the following attributes A) You're a girl B) You shop in Landan C) You have a Tumblr.

Pashon for Fashon

Cupcake Baker

F&B is a winner if you're putting your money anywhere but the reason why the likes of Nola Cupcakes was such a brilliant venture was because the idea of gourmet cupcakes was non-existent in Egypt. Years later we can't fathom why we're still getting invites to Facebook pages offering the best homemade cupcakes and desserts in Egypt for 50 LE a pop. Bitch, no one cares if it's made in a home, in a bathtub, in your bed whilst watching Girls, think of something new. Invent the next cronut and stop using your boutique bakery dreams as an excuse to binge eat.

Party Organiser

Party organising is not something you should get into because you A) Go to a lot of parties B) Need Money. It's a loveless business at first that takes a lot of time and effort to get back your investment and build up a crowd which look forward to your events. You should have a detailed knowledge of what exactly it is makes a crowd comfortable, from the reservation and ticketing process, to the bar, to visuals and music. Charging 250 LE and getting your mate who's a DJ and plays Spanish karaoke House for ten hours in a non-nondescript venue will always fail.

DJ

Seems easy right? Stay up to date with the Beatport charts, fuck about on Traktor for a bit and bang, you'll be paid thousands each week to fly around the world and fist pump as beautiful women grope you behind the decks. Granted, there are a few DJs around for whom this is enough but you need to be getting into DJing for the right reasons, for a love of music, and pushing the envelope. The money will follow.

Social Media Manager

Facebook and Twitter just aren't what they used to be. Now it's a constant stream of vacant unintelligible promotions due to the phenomenon that is social media advertising. Just because you are already on your phone 24/7 doesn't mean you should be making a career out of it: if everyone is working on social media, who's left to use social media? Just remember to tweet before you eat.

Tweet before you eat, bitches

Online Entrepreneur

Let's face it you're not the next Jack Dorsey, you're just unemployed. Ideas don't program themselves.

Restaurateur

Similar to the cupcake baker, we promise you, on behalf of Egypt, we do not need another gourmet burger restaurant. Think outside the box; you're half assed attempt at an unoriginal idea will not make you a fortune, no matter how many social media managers you hire.


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