You don't even go here.
The One Who Wants to Experience the Real Egypt
This type completely and utterly refuses to live in Maadi, Zamalek, Tagamoa, or any developed suburb really because they want to experience the real Egypt. They have a vision that the real Egypt is an under developed sha3bi territory infested with beggars and rubbish on every corner. They want to ‘do it tough’. And no, they won’t be eating with you at Spectra because that’s privileged people food.
Nadia El Gendy ain’t got nothing on the foreign spy! This one speaks, reads, and writes perfect Arabic - better than yours will ever be, or any ancient poet's for that matter. They’ll even throw around a few eh ya gada3 and ya brince just to blend in better. Oh and they definitely know not to wear shorts or flipflops because that’s strictly a foreign thing to do. They will tell you they work as an analyst at an intelligence agency, but we all know that’s code for a spy!
Do not mistake this one for the Sinai hippie asshole. This one has all of the 10 years they’ll be spending in Egypt planned out, and be sure that they’ll visit all 27 governorates. They’ve probably even met your tante Souad who lives in Arish before you have! They’ve been everywhere you haven’t, and know the ins and outs of every city. Good job.
The Sinai Hippie
These guys think they're the millennial Bedouins who don’t need overrated modern conveniences. You’ll find them wearing tassels, anklets, 1000 different patterns, and a kaftan as they sit on the sands of Dahab absorbing the ocean vibes. But from time to time, their privilege kicks in, they’ll drink themselves blind and you’ll find them passed out on a patch of grass somewhere.
Can you even think of a foreigner in Egypt who isn’t a teacher? They earn like EGP 25K per month, work two hours a day, and get school holidays off. They often stick around for about a year until they get bored.
The Ballin' Super Rich Gulfie
This one rolls up to Egypt in a private jet with a tiger on a leash that has just been fed the meal of a lifetime. They’ll spend thousands every night on high tables at bars and order more food only to leave it behind and go home with the person they just met. And you best believe they’re staying at the grandest hotel in town, driving around in a Rolls Royce they bought upon arrival.
The Foreign Egyptian
Unlike all the others, this one is actually Egyptian, but really doesn’t want to be. They went to private schools and most likely graduated from AUC. They also speak very little Arabic and even then they use English intonations and English words in between to get their message across. Taxis are a no no, and the metro is for peasants. What is sobia?