Now we don't expect diamond rings or Lamborghinis, but a little originality would be nice.
Whether it’s bananas, oranges or a big old basket of mangoes, taking fruit to someone’s home is a rather strange yet constant tradition. Are they worried we’re not getting enough vitamins? Do they want us to get up and make a fruit salad? Is fruit really the first thing that came to mind when you thought of us? Don’t you think we can buy our own damn fruit?
While we appreciate that much of the population doesn’t consume alcohol regularly, we’re not quite convinced that a sando2 bebs is the equivalent of ‘hey guys, the drinks are on me!’ Also, why does no one ever come bearing diet drinks? They might as well come bearing diabetes.
Oriental Sweets – by the Kilogram
Since we’re on the subject of diabetes, we love a good dessert. But guess what? We’re in Egypt – a kilo of basbousa is hardly impressive, unique or thoughtful, especially when it’s bought from your local gas station La Poire.
Egyptian Art. Made in China.
Every home in Egypt has some gaudy picture frame, bedazzled vase, glitter sprinkled fake flowers and a set of mugs with undecipherable Chinglish sentences. No one has ever bought these for themselves.
While you can’t really have too many pyjamas, the variety our grandmothers, aunts that got married and moved to Saudi Arabia and mothers that couldn’t resist a bargain all give us at random intervals in our adult lives aren’t usually even pyjamas. They’re tracksuits. Knock off tracksuits. A terenk, if you will.
Whether it’s a wrinkly 20 LE note from your grandmother who still thinks your 12, or an envelope bulging with hundreds slipped to you on your wedding night, cash is the most awkward gift to receive. Extra money is all well and good, but more often than not it’s not worth the back and forth.
So I just gave you an envelope bulging with hundreds at your wedding – and you’re gifting me with three Covertina chocolates wrapped in a ribbon with your names on? What are we supposed to do with that?
It’s your birthday? Here’s a teddy bear! You had a baby? Teddy bear! Passed an exam? Cross eyed teddy bear from a street vendor! Anniversary? Teddy cat for you!