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Pizzageddon

We all love great pizza, but where can we find it?

Recently I told my littlest hippie princes – the six-year-old – that I was going to take her to Pizza Mia. I am on a mission – more of a spiritual quest really – to find the best pizza in the city, and Pizza Mia is on my list. She thought this was cool because in London she had gone to “Pizza Ria” (pizzeria). I didn’t try to explain it.

But I’ll explain it to you. I’m looking for the best pizzeria in Cairo and I need your help. Send me your top suggestions and me and my team of highly-trained pie specialists will suss out the situation for the rest of us. We’ll eat a lot of pizza, so you don’t have to. When our mission is complete, we’ll announce the winners here.

But you need to think this through. If you write Pizza Hut or Roma Pizza, 2 Go or Cook Door or any place that puts little ketchup packets in with the pizza, our system will automatically block you from this site forever. Likewise Maison Thomas. I don’t want to see that on there either. Sure, once in a while they get lucky, once in awhile the cook accidentally adds too much sauce on the pizza and then forgets it in the oven so it comes out as it should. But consistency is not their strong point.

For decades in this city we have suffered under-cooked crusts, unimaginative toppings, too much greasy, tasteless cheese, late deliveries in cardboard boxes that smell of exhaust fumes, and never ever enough tomato sauce: all of which is guaranteed to give you pizzarrhea.

It’s probably what we deserve because we get the munchies and order this crap anyway, knowing full well it’s going to be awful. Or maybe it’s the historic lack of competition. There was little choice, each chain just as bad as the other. But now things are changing and it’s time we got serious about eating well and getting our money’s worth.

So help me out here. Tell me where to go. But it’s got to be better than good, it has to be earth-shattering.

What I’m seeking is Pizzageddon, a pizza so good that it triggers the end of days, the rapture, also known as the Pizzapocalypse, when the armies of cheese and forces of goodness finally defeat the armies of bad taste and all those little ketchup packets are sent to the fires of damnation for all eternity.