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Unappetising Fast Food Mascots

As McDonalds unveils its creepy new Happy Meal mascot, we take a look at some of the worst fictional spokespeople in marketing history.

There are those of us who love fast food and those who hate it, but we are pretty sure that we can all agree that none of it is healthy for you. Most of the foods served in these establishments are often designed in labs, where scientists add just the right touch of addictiveness to have patrons coming back for more. Despite all their lab research, a product's success still heavily depends on the way they it's marketed. Often these corporation turn to cute animated mascots to help convince children to nag their parents. Sometimes it works, and other times it epically fails causing nausea and irritable bowl syndrome.

So without further ado here is a list of the worst fast food mascots ever to try and sell us food.

McDonald's New Happy Meal Mascot

This mascot is the newest member of Mcdonald's marketing team and was introduced just this past week. Looking more terrifying than happy this mascot is sure to have kids asking their parents to skip on the Happy Meal even if that means no toy. It should be noted that this mascot was so bad it inspired us to find others to compile this list. 

Chuck E Cheese

 

The E is meant to stand for entertainment, however, there is nothing cool or entertaining about the idea of pizza place having rats. For those who don't know Chuck E Cheese, it's where kids go to celebrate their birthday. The place is filled with activities, games, and of course rodents. Not exactly sure how this is supposed to make us want pizza, unless of course they mean to insinuate that just like a rat, you love cheese. 

Dairy Queen Lips

No, these are the same lips from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but it does inspire horror. We can only assume that the idiot who came up with this idea was fired, and will hopefully never be allowed to ruin a fast food chain again. Dairy Queen is supposed to be all about ice cream and burgers, but obviously the lips do not convey the message. In fact the only thing these lip could be used to advertise would be herpes.

Quizno Mutants

 

Quizno is a sandwich place that is a lot like Subway. However you have heard of Subway before and maybe not Quizno. We imagine that is because for some absolute ridiculous reason the marketing guru behind this campaign thought mutated hamsters, with children teeth, wearing pirate hats translated to watering taste buds and a desire for a sandwich. The only way this makes sense is if the marketer was a double agent who actually worked for Subway, and was on a mission to destroy Quizno. Mission accomplished.

 Boo Berry Cereal Ghost

It is unclear how a stoned ghost unable to deal with his death screams delicious, however this ghost was the face of Boo Berry Cereal. We have never heard of this cereal before, but we are guessing this animated stupidity is the reason. Perhaps if this cereal was marketed to stoned teenagers with a serious case of the munchies it would still exist.

The Burger King

Thankfully this Burger King has been overthrown, almost around the same time we did away with Mubarak. There is no relationship between the two, except for the fact that they still haunt our nightmares. 

Hitler Fried Chicken

Sadly, this actually exists in Thailand. Apparently it wasn't enough to steal the Colonel Sanders' recipe for fried chicken, this chain decided to go all in by stealing Ronald McDonald and slapping a Hitler mustache on him. Obviously the campaign is terrible, but sadly it worked, because we doubt we would have ever heard of Hitler's chicken without this adorably offensive mascot. 

Carl Jr's Paris Hilton

We know sex sells, but it is hard to believe that it can sell us on cholesterol clogging fat inducing burgers. Clearly Paris Hilton doesn't eat at this fast food chain; if she did she, wouldn't be able to fit that burger between her thigh gap...