Looking to go all out and impress a certain someone this Valentine's Day? While we can't quite fix your charm or your slightly crooked teeth, we'll give you your options of what's happening across the city for Valentine's weekend and leave the rest of the impressing to you.
"Ah, love! L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. I mean, what is life without love?" Ross Geller, tellin' it like it is since 1994. You could sit around on Valentine's weekend with some fajitas and margaritas and be just fiiiiiiine. You really could! But, there are so many other options to choose from. You could grab a few branches off your money tree and take your lovely lady out for a(n expensive) romantic, candlelit dinner somewhere fancy and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, hoping she'll later whisper some into yours. You could go out with the gals for a few drinks and a night on the town, quite possibly bringing home your very own Paulo for the night - except, this is Egypt, so he'll likely end up speaking Chinese or having a very heavy Sudanese accent. You could get away from it all and escape for a second honeymoon; except, it's Valentine's Day weekend, so it'll probably feel more like a quickie than a full out honeymoon. You could even go so far as to take your entire family out for Valentine's Day as a not-so-gentle reminder of the long-term consequences of the L word. Or, much like us, you could go to work on Valentine's Day morning and go home to binge watch Friends in the evening. Your call. Just in case you're not so big on the Friends marathon, here's what else you could be up to this Valentine's Day weekend:
Friday, February 12th
Because why wait till it's officially Valentine's Day to celebrate love? Haifa Wehbe is as impatient as the rest of the sexy population, and she's bringing her sensual smoldering sighs centre-stage a couple of nights early. Ladies better keep their eyes on their men! The rooms have also been discounted for standard double rooms from $180 to $140.
Who says St. Valentine should only be celebrated in a day? Get an early lovely head start with a Valentine's brunch at Night & Day, featuring the legendary melodies of none other than Yehia Khalil.
Let your love go "RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH" as the great Tina Turner says, with a little help from DJ Fuzzy and Ayman Nageeb's spinny skillz on the decks.
Add some Jazz to your Valentine's with Harfoush, along with a romantic dinner with your loved one. THEN, THE DANCING BEGINS! Twist, twerk, strip, and do your thing.
Sunday is no longer funday now that Valentine's Day is going to be crammed up at the beginning of the week, but that's totally fine! Everyone's so eager at the Blue Nile Boat to the point that they're having the bash two days early - on a weekend - so everyone could get wasted on a Friday and wake up to the comfort of Saturday. With a direct view of the Nile, it's going to either add the romantic touch your Valentine's date needed, or a quick escape in case things get out of hand. Munch to the tunes of DJ Onsy and Nataly for a nostalgic selection of tunes that will have you shaking it alongside the belly dancer all night long - and totally ditching your date.
If you haven't got a date by now, you probably NEVER WILL. That's why you should get your flirtatious pickup lines ready for the perfect opportunity with Chaos Band playing in the background.
Who says Valentine's Day is reserved only for the teens? Take your family out to a family-friendly Valentine's festival where your kids can enjoy a variety of games and activities, ranging from arts and crafts to a photo booth and cookie decorating. Or, you could just send your kids off to munch on some healthy snacks, enter a kids talent competition, and take your loved on out on a proper Valentine's date! It's only going to set you back 60 LE, which is probably a lot cheaper than hiring a baby sitter, no?
Cupid has been training his entire life for this day, and we reckon you should have done some training, too. If you're waiting for an arrow to hit you guys, you can just go ahead and let Tempo's delicious menu make you fall in love with each other AND food. Couples who munch together, stay together. Marco Moheb will be singing the songs of the love gods, and bringing you the best of English and French music for an even bigger romantic touch.
Save your marriage - and your counsellor - with a magical getaway to Somabay, whether with shower massages and your ideal dinner at Westin Soma Bay, a bed of roses and strawberry cake at Kempinski Soma Bay, or breakfast in bed before your massage at Sheraton Soma Bay or Cascades Spa & Thalasso.
Saturday, February 13th
El 7ob el 7a2ee2y! By3eesh ya 7abeeby! When is it better to celebrate love than Valentine's weekend? Take some advice from the legendary Mr. Fouad and let Cupid do his thing!
Get your loving on with some sexy sax by Loay, DJ Remon, Shaaban the drummer, percussions by Hamdoon, and a live oud, along with Cupid himself, who will be disguised as one of the guest, armoured with his finest love arrows.
Just like Christmas Eve - and birthdays - all the highlights of the year start at midnight! Countdown on Valentine's Eve with Egy Rockers, DJ Yasser El Hariry, and DJ Morovitch.
Blue-eyed sultry songstress Malak El Husseiny is about to romanticise your Valentine's weekend to get you warmed up for the real deal. Make sure to secure a partner from the crowd, or maybe Malak herself - if you're lucky enough.
Valentine's is known for the colour red, and this time it's for BLOOD! Get your best Sherlock Holmes impersonation on, because you're going to spend Valentine's weekend solving curious 1920's mystery murders. They'll be giving out light snacks of treachery while you sip on some blackmail, intrigue, and backstabbing. After registration, you'll be receiving your role for you to study, and once you step through the doors, better get in your 20s character, because everyone will be having a secret to hide. Sign up NOW!
Stella Di Mare Resort
Get hot and steamy this Valentine's weekend courtesy of Ain Sokhna's Stella Di Mare Resort where you can check in to Grand Hotel Stella or Sea Club Hotel Stella for sweet deals like spa facilities, heated pools, romantic candlelit dinners, and - the best part - chocolate cookies in your room!
Sunday, February 14th
You're bound to get a tad jealous of CJC's Valentine this year. Call yourself lucky that good ol' CJC will be sharing Lebanese Indie artist Tania Saleh with all of you, along with bassist Ahmed Nazmi, and pianist Hesham Galal. You can say they'll be strumming on the strings of your heart.
Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't mean it's no longer #URBANSUNDAY!! On the decks will be our beloved Ramy DJunkie spinning his tunes of love to get you and your Valentine buzzing on the dancefloor.
We can't stress enough how important a getaway to the river is! It will either enchant your date, get you lucky, or help you escape if things get too hefty! DJ Tamer Hegazy will be spinning his own rendition of love tunes to keep your fight or flight instincts in check!
No need to get all cheesy and romantic for Valentine's Day, it's still time to PARTAAY! Keep your party demons ever so alive with a Valentine's bash along with some of the coolest tunes by DJ Philip Loupa, Peto, and Fery.
Eat to the beat - of your Valentine's heart of course; no, to Danny Malak's awesome guitar tunes and velvety voice, then have Mina Younan finish off the night with some romantic violin music.
We know some of you are already getting your "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY" banners outlined, but for the other lovely people who are fortunate enough to have somebody to love on the big V Day, you're in for a treat. Johnny's Le Pacha West is setting the mood just right for you and your partner with a mouth-watering set menu and some live romantic tunes.
Who says you need a Valentine? Pop singer Ramy Aiash is promising all of his audience a fantastic date with a blast of his favourite hits.
Brunette bombshell songstress Malak El Husseiny is about to romanticize your Valentine's night with free entry into the Courtyard where you can dine anywhere and still enjoy her beautiful melodies.
Red attire ready, Valentine in hand, Cupid's target marked on back, and you're set! Party along DJ Khaled Hussein's tunes, DJ Remon, Loay on sax, Shaaban on the drums, percussions by Hamdoon, and a live oud.
Hayda e'shaghleh ktir 7elw! Spend your Valentine's night with sweet live violin tunes, and the most delicious fixed menu.
Who says Valentine's Day has to be cheesy and boring? Absolutely not. You can have your candle-lit five-course menu dinner down at the Duplex, nibble on a platter of mezzes, and then party like an animal with DJ Blind's Progressive House tunes.
It's all about the music, the perfect lighting, and your loved one this Valentine's Day. DJ Ramy El Saadany will be opening up and closing the night with his tunes, along with the greatest music selection by the famous duo, Youssef Mallouk and the Romanian Singer Maria. But, of course, Valentine's Day is not complete without FOOD! You'll be having a yummy set menu that ranges from fresh baked goodies to French platters, and finishing up with a red-coloured dessert for 400 LE. Get your smartest casual attire on and book your spot now, here.
Royal Maxim Palace Kempiniski
Grab a glass of wine with your romantic Valentine's Day dinner at Yana for 799 LE, add a guitarist to the mix at Lucca, give your lady a special lady a rose to go along with dinner and live violins at Romanov, go all out with a couples' massage at go all out with spas and chocolate cake at Resense Spa, and top it all off with a heart-shaped chocolate cake waiting for you in your special room at Royal Maxim Palace Kempinski.
Ramses Hilton knows how to do Valentine's Day the right way: breakfast in bed and special rates, a cake feast fit for a king (and his queen) at Garden Court Café, and the freshest fruits of the sea at Citadel Grill - which is as close as you'll get this Valentine's weekend to being "under the sea! Under the sea! Darlin' it's betta' down where it's wetta', take it from me!"
Mena House Hotel
Mena House is giving you all the options this Valentine's Day with a 380 LE set menu at Pavilion, an à la carte dinner at Moghul Room, and a relaxing overnight stay with a 45-minute massage at The Mena Garden.
Intercontinental Cairo CityStars
Going for clean-cut and classy with a little edge? Here are your options: sweet and simple romantic dinner at Al Khal, sushi and a welcome drink at Fayruz, a four-course set menu and a welcome drink at Maestro, the VIP experience at Lounge, or a little guitar strumming to go with those candles on the table at Bellini. In case you forgot to buy a gift, you could always sneak away to My Bakery and grab some heart-shaped Valentine's treats and some chocolate-covered strawberries for the road.
Sofitel El Gezira
Looking for options? You got it! Grab your date for an authentic Indian experience at Manipuri, an Arab ambience - belly dancer and all - at La Palmerie, or let the harp serenade the awkward away as you both pig out at Le Sud's open buffet dinner. Don't worry, you could always spice it up after with a saucy Oriental massage at So Spa to complement your stay at Sofitel El Gezira.
If you're going to go ahead and take your valentine to Aswan, you might as well go all out - stay in bed all day at Old Cataract and do as you please, enjoy a gorgeous view for your candlelit dinner at 1902, then wrap it up with a little love from So Spa in a private couples' jacuzzi.
Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza
A glass of wine would be just fine alongside an exquisite dinner for two from any of the Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza's stellar restaurants - 8,Bella, The Bar, and Upper Deck - except for Lobby Lounge, that's where you find the chocolate buffet. If chocolate is your thing, you also definitely want to check out this massage with chocolate oil at The Spa - yum!
Cairo Marriott Hotel
Cairo Marriott Hotel's restaurants - JW's Steakhouse, Saraya Gallery, Torii, and Tuscani - all know that neither Joey nor you share food, but are saving you the awkwardness by setting their dinner rates on a 'per couple' basis so no food will be involuntarily shared. You're welcome.
A romantic ambience and delectable food with exquisite views can be found at Pane Vino, The Birdcage, The Grill, and most definitely at Rithmo where Sahar the belly dancer will be one sweet sight for the sore eyes.
JW Marriott Hotel Cairo
Ambience is everything on Valentine's Day, so you get to choose from Lebanese at Ahlein, world class and cultured at JW's Steakhouse, a little Italian at Cucina, Asian fusion at Lemongrass, or let your imagination run wild as you dive into a full dinner buffet at Mirage Cafe.
Main image illustration by Ganna Hesham.