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11 Examples Of How Egyptians Are As Ged3an As It Gets

Media often like to paint Egyptians as being extremist, sexist, and incompetent. However, what they fail to mention is that, in a time of distress, you can count on just about any stranger to generously come to your aid, because you know we’re just ged3an like that.

Merely walking down Egypt's streets means you're on the cusp of being offered a very nice cup of tea with infinite refills on-site, or being rushed to the nearest hospital on the shoulder of an old man after you've just had an accident. There are plenty of gad3ana moments to be experienced in Egypt, and here are the most common ones you'll find in Om El Gad3ana

Tea/Food-sharing Obsession

You can always sense the garage boy or bawab anxiously waiting for the right moment to shower you with borderline suspicious kindness when you're in the biggest hurry of your life. It's as if you're always a step away from attempted force-feeding, or having to quickly down their cup of scalding tea to keep up with the level of untimely amazingness. The up side to this is obviously that you can always count on him for when you're broke as fuck, but perhaps you wouldn't want to condone their tea-sharing obsession too much so it doesn't become a thing and come back to haunt you later.

 Insisting You Smoke Their Kilobatra Cigarettes

"Bteshrab Box? My Kilobatra is all yours ya basha! Wallahi lanta wakhed wa7da! Ana 7left ya beh mateksefnish ba2a."One of my automated replies to this predictable scenario is "Only if you put a little more tobacco on that wood." Though, I have to say, that is almost the polar opposite to what happens in the West if you ask a stranger for a cigarette.

Elly Y7eb El Nabi Yezo2 

When your car breaks down you can always count on someone man-handling it and pushing it for you - even up and down a bridge, if they have to. 

Magical Remedies At The Scene Of An Accident

Obviously, with this level of generosity, you can bet your bottom this also means their chivalrous spidey-senses will save your ass when it matters most, like that time when seven-year-old me got pulverised by a microbus on Nile Street as I was about to reach my building to give my mom a flower on Mother's Day. The bawab clan of my building rushed like the unfit vigilantes that they were to carry me to the building, aptly deciding to cure me with a good ol' magical cup of water with sugar! This incredible all-in-one concoction will eventually monopolise the medical industry - you heard it here first. My gratitude was immeasurable on that faithful Mother's Day.

Inviting You To Attend Random Weddings

Sometimes that same guy who awkwardly tried to be your hero will probably expect you to now fulfill your newfound duties of attending weddings upon weddings of people you never knew existed before, and that dawning feeling that you'd be a real dick if you burst his bubble and decline.

Suddenly Volunteering To Be Your Tour guide

When asking for directions and the person you ask proceeds to not only guide you but also tag along to give you a free tour. Not only is he telepathic, but he's a telepathic fucking tour guide.

Invitation To Spend The Weekend Fel Balad

In other instances your driver or maid (or your relative's driver or maid) would offer you to come spend the entire weekend at their village with their best food on offer. They're even relishing the idea of getting you acquainted with their donkey 3antar and taking you cruising around the countryside.

Felucca Rockstar

When you're riding on the Nile in a colourfully light felucca and the sailor seises the opportunity to be your rockstar with some wholeheartedly terrible singing. Maybe he's trying to make us laugh, which would totally fit into the whole Egyptian gad3ana theory.

Street Fighting For Strangers

If you get jumped within sight of our superheroes-disguised-as-regular-ass-citizens, selfless badassery usually emerges to ensure justice prevails against the aggressor, with complete strangers defending you like kin.

Here's A Joint To Alleviate Your Stress

Or that one time the koshk guy saw you all stressed out and decided to give you a nice little surpise to go with your pack of cigarettes, then telling you to say 'fuck it' and just enjoy.

Infinite Tabs

You know that, even if you're broke, you can still add the whole store on your tab for as long as you want. Or even if you're just short on cash, you can straight up get a discount.