It wouldn't feel quite like our grandparents' place if we didn't walk in and find these things...
My grandparents are probably the sweetest creatures on this planet; they always shower me with candy – and money – but that’s not why I love them. I love them because I can vent about my mom when she doesn’t give me what I want; if you say you don’t do that, then you're lying. Every time I visit, I sit on their cosy couch and instantly notice a few things – like that really old statue sitting on the wooden table. We all notice weird things when we go to our grandparents’ house, from a bar of soap between their clothes to giant stacks of newspapers everywhere. It’s the little things that truly make us feel like we’re at their house. Chances are, we’ll probably end up having the same wacky habits. Here are some of those typical things you find at every Egyptian grandparent's house...
Animal Fur Stole
Let me tell you a little story. One fine day, I was at my grandma’s place and she asked me to fetch her a jacket. Being the sweetheart that I am, I enter her room and open the closet only to be frightened to death by the sight of a dead fox! Am I being Punk’d? Yo, Ashton, you can come out now! What is it with grandparents and fur?
Ice Cream Boxes - With No Ice Cream In Them
That scandalous moment when you open the freezer and see that vanilla ice cream box calling your name, only to find frozen chicken inside – or worse, 3ats. Deception at its finest. And disappointment. Oh the disappointment.
Objects They Swiped From Hotels
Every time I shower at their house, I find those tiny hotel shampoo bottles that that they took from the Steigenberger. Did I mention those white fluffy house slippers? Yeah, they have those too.
That Plastic Bag Full Of Plastic Bags
"Gedo, can I please have a plastic bag?" "Yes, dear. Go to the cabinet in the kitchen and you’ll find a big plastic bag full of plastic bags. Choose whichever one you like."
The Butter Cookies/Quality Street Boxes
"Oh, look! A box of cookies! I’ll only have a few since I’m on a diet." I open the lid ever so joyfully and, BAM, sewing kits – threads, needles, pins, and no cookies in sight.
That Tiny Plate With A Tiny Spoon
Because why buy salt and pepper shakers when you can pour them into a tiny bowl with a tiny spoon?
My face instantly lights up when I see that gorgeous Nutella jar sitting there on the kitchen table, so I run toward it before my brother notices it. Wait, what is this? Jam? Reaaaally? How silly of me to think that there’s ACTUAL Nutella in a Nutella jar.
No one uses the radio anymore, grandpa, let alone use tapes. You specially don't need to still have nine of them lying around. So 2000-and-late, Gedo.
That Knife That Grandma Loves
There’s always that one knife that she loves that she’ll never let go of, just because.
The amount of times I saw that basket being pulled down by the porter are countless. They’d always send up the daily newspaper, whatever vegetables we needed to make lunch that day, and even makwa (laundry)!
The Old Water Heater
We’ve all witnessed that little fire light up inside the heater when we turn it on. Whether I wanted to shower or wash my hands with warm water, that sound always scared me as a child. True story.
That cologne. They all have it. Apparently it cures everything from a runny nose to a broken leg. Till this day I just don’t understand it…
Lifetime Supply Of (Often Expired) Medicine
Not only do they have that cabinet in the bathroom with an endless supply of meds, half of them are expired. "No honey, the expiry date is only a suggestion from the company; you can still use it." *Stares blankly at grandma*
Doilies And Lace
All knitted/lace errythang. The curtains, the tablecloths, the coasters – everything – in all sizes and colours.
Embarrassing Photos On Display
Those yearbook photos that you despise so much are always all over their house. If you want a picture of me, I can give you a pretty one, Gedo.